I feel kind of lost. Which is pretty ironic, considering that the main reason I’m so confused is because I decided to give up all of my reservations and trust God to be the Lord of my life.
It’s harder than I’d hoped. I guess I wanted this to be something that just made everything easier and better all at once.
Nothing in life works like that, and I should have known that by now.
Having made this decision, I thought I was going to make everything simple and better.
Instead I feel like everything has gotten more complicated.
I'm not very good with time management, and I'm overwhelmed with my work schedule. This is mostly my fault because I just don't manage my time well. That's something on which I'm trying to improve.
Still, I find myself over and over again putting off spending time with God because I'm too tired. I haven't been making a point to spend time with God and work on my relationship.
My priorities are out of line, because I keep saying that I need to get things in order first, but I know that in order to really get my life in order, I need to spend time with God.
It's hard for me NOT to view Christianity as a big long list of things I shouldn't do. I'm not talking about "bad" things. Just little things here and there that I am not sure whether or not I should continue to do.
Music. Should I only listen to Christian music?
Is it wrong to go out with my friends?
Is it wrong to drink, if I don't get drunk?
I don't really know. My mind has problems separating the years of faking Christianity from me currently trying to live the real thing.
This is new for me, and I don't really know how to proceed.
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hey moriah (this is comma the llama/ captain krunk)- don't give up. I believe my mom said it best- "never make an important decision when you're hungry, angry, or exhausted." I'll say an extra prayer for you, ok? Having just gotten through the wringer myself I totally feel where you're coming from. The Bible has answers to all of your questions- just ask them one at a time and I'll try to answer them for you (and get someone else on the level to if by some strange reason I can't). I am thankful you are still young in years when you surrendered to Jesus- there is still time to get back on track and enjoy seerving him (I know living for Christ is not as easy as it sounds but it's not out of your grasp either:)
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